A Short Story – The Package, Part 5.

Here’s the next 100 word instalment of my short story, The Package. If you missed earlier episodes, click on the links to catch up.

The words that had to be included were: riddle, hook and Venus.

Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.
Part 4.

This experiment is inspired by Lily Childs’ and her Friday Prediction.

Hope you enjoy…..

The Package, Part 5.

Venus stepped from the train and followed the throng of commuters. Rail workers were shouting orders, some being obeyed.

“Sir,” one guard said, “That way means ‘THAT WAY’! It’s not a riddle. Now go!” he finished, pointing to an exit.

Venus walked past the guard, concern etched across her face.

“Miss, are you OK?”

“I…I…I’m being…” Venus stopped talking and stared straight ahead.


* * *

Frankie Jones’s henchman is standing at the other end of the station. Then I see her, push past commuters and hook an arm around hers.

“You want to live, come with me.”

…to be continued.

All comments and feedback will be greatly received.


Later, peeps!



Filed under crime, david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday prediction, lily childs, short story, the package

9 responses to “A Short Story – The Package, Part 5.

  1. I can tell you're having fun with this, Dave. It's pulled me in. It could go on and on…Can't wait to see where you go with it.Best,Col

  2. A novel in bite-sized chunks – loving this!

  3. Col – Thanks, buddy. I am enjoying it but not sure where it's going until I see the words the following week. I'm also going to write some filler pieces and then (if I actually get to a conclusion) turn it into a fully fledged story.Sue – Thanks for looking. Glad you're liking it. Part 6 is written and will be posted on here later this week. 🙂

  4. I like the chiseled prose. Don't recall ever seeing you write this way before. Carry on, mate.

  5. Just catching up, David. Enjoying and looking forward to the next.

  6. Short and sweet. Makes it easy to jump right into this series.

  7. Thanks, guys. I hope you like the next episode.Cheers!!

  8. Oi, BJ, stop claiming to be me by leaving your comments over here. Piss off and stick to your own blog.Sorry, guys!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s