A Short Story – Part 1.

Over at Lily Childs’ blog, The Feardom, she has a weekly challenge – Lily’s Friday Prediction.  There are 3 new words every week that you have to include in a story of no more than 100 words.

Last weeks words were: London, Sham and Collect.

My 100 word piece won last weeks challenge, so the pressure is now on to take this further.  Part 2 has already been written and is up at her blog as this weeks words were perfect for it.

Hope you enjoy…

The Package – Part 1.

“All you had to do was collect the package, bring it back and get paid.”

“It wasn’t that simple. It was a set-up. Someone else knew.”

“Don’t talk bollocks. It was a simple task that you made a complete sham of. Fuck!”

“What? You think this apple sized lump on my noggin’ is a fucking sham?”

A phone rings.

“What? You sure? It’d better not be some wild fuckin’ goose chase. OK.”


“You’re in luck.”

“Don’t even…”

“OK. We’re in luck. The package has just been seen boarding a train to London.”


Any comments or feedback would be appreciated.  Part 2 will be posted later in the week.

Have a great Sunday.




Filed under crime, david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday prediction, lily childs, noir, the package

10 responses to “A Short Story – Part 1.

  1. I like your package, mate. No, you, ninny! Not that package! The story! The story! Nice stir up of trouble ahead, I trust.

  2. This package has legs!

  3. Li

    Well done, especially since it was 100% dialogue, a difficult task.

  4. Sneaky package. Nice use of those three words, David.

  5. Well done, David. Intriguing!

  6. Sorry I missed this one at Lily's, David – but I'm in complete agreement that this one has a tonne of potential. I'll be over to read part 2 directly.

  7. Brilliant story which has more legs than a centipede nest.

  8. Thanks, guys 'n' girls! Really appreciate your feedback.

  9. Good stuff, bro. Waiting for the second installment.

  10. Thanks, peeps. Appreciate your words!

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