Snapshot Saturday, Festivities And A Joke.

This time last year the whole of Perthshire was covered in snow and I was working in a place 30 miles away from my home that was -13 C.  Today it’s been +6 C.  How times change.

I missed Photo-Finish Friday yesterday so here’s my photo, which acts as a Christmas message.

Me and my 2 little elfs!!
I’d like to wish each and every one of my followers, readers and fellow writers a fantastically Merry Christmas and a healthy and wealthy 2012.  I really appreciate your encouragement and advice and look forward to it continuing next year.  Thank you, all!

A classic Christmas song.

Right, enough of the soppy shit.  Here’s a joke.

A young man moved from home and into a new apartment.  It was all his, so he proudly went down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the woman and she started up a conversation with him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, ‘Let’s go in to my apartment, I hear someone coming.’

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, ‘What would you say is my best feature?’

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, ‘It’s got to be your ears.’

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, ‘My ears?!?!?’

‘Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist and not a blemish on my skin.  How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?’

Clearing his throat, he stammered …. ‘Outside,…. when you said you heard someone coming……. that was me!’

OK, hope you enjoyed.

If you get any spare time over the festive period, please check out The Flash Fiction Offensive.  I’ve been running a Christmas Grit feature and it runs up until New Years eve.

There have been some great stories so far and there are more to come.  If you fancy a look the click here, or just click the TFFO banner up top.


Have a great time!




Filed under a christmas crime, david barber, david barber's fiction world, festivities, jokes, merry christmas, photo finish friday, slade, snap-shot saturday, the flash fiction offensive

9 responses to “Snapshot Saturday, Festivities And A Joke.

  1. Great pic, bud. Hope you and yours have the best of holidays and the best new year yet.

  2. Love the photo. Have a wonderful Christmas and all the best in 2012.

  3. Badoomboom! Merry merry, may neither Mancunian squad win diddly, and may you get a Mario t-shirt for Xmas!

  4. Great pic! Merry Christmas to you and yours… and thanks for the laugh!!

  5. one good joke needs a companion… so…Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearlygates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must eachpossess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'The man from England fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.The man from Scotland reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.The Irish man started searching desperately through his pockets and finallypulled out a pair of women's panties.St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just whatdo those symbolize?'The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'hehehehe

  6. Great snapshot. Top joke. :-)All the best to you 'n' your beautiful family, mate.

  7. Great photoHope you have a great Christmas and all the best for the New Year

  8. Right jolly old elf, and right darling young elfs! And one jolly joke as well. At last! I'm in the christmas spirit now!

  9. Thanks all! 'Tis the best time of the year!!!

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