The Voice.

This little piece was inspired by Lily Childs’ Friday Prediction back in January.  The rules are simple: you get three random words and you have to include them all in a 100 word story.

The words for this piece were: tunnel, horse and judge.  I must have been feeling a tad lazy this particular week as I only managed 50 words.

I hope you like…

The Voice.

Judge me as you will, but I see things that others cannot.

The car hurtling towards them: the drunk asleep behind the wheel.

The train entering the tunnel: never emerging from the other end, the explosion devastating.

The antique rocking horse you’ve bought your daughter: your tears will run forever.

~End~

If you think you’re up to the challenge of Lily’s Friday Prediction, then click here and join the fun.  Hey, guess which day it’s on.

All comments are appreciated.

Later!

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15 Comments

Filed under 50 words, david barber, david barber's fiction world, lily childs, micro fiction, rocking horse, the voice

15 responses to “The Voice.

  1. Poignant and nicely done, David. You’ve used all the words needed to convey the story.

  2. I remember this the first time round – still powerful, still poignant.(and a welcome break from laying new flooring!)Well done, young man 🙂

  3. No antique rocking horses, no antique rocking horses.

  4. Alan – Thanks, mate. Sometimes they just come, no matter what the length.Gillian – Thank you. I aim to please.Sue – Thanks. Yes, I've got a couple of days off…and making the most of it.David – The thing is, I'm actually looking at one as I'm sat in the kitchen. Ours isn't antique though. Although it is handmade and cost way too much!! The wood it's made of is actually 250 years old, so in a way I suppose it's antique. The girls adore it. It may be the subject of my PFF tomorrow.

  5. That last sentence is a gutwrencher. Antique rocking horses can go from innocent to horrifying in an instant. Well done.

  6. This is as good now as it was then. Terrifying and disturbing in just 50 words – that's a talented write.And once again, thanks for the Prediction plug!x

  7. Laurita – Thank you. It's written as it came out, with little or no editing. I love those ones!Lily – Thanks and you're more than welcome. You've created a hell of a "writers hang-out" that you should be proud of. And just think back a few months, when you were ready calling it a day! x

  8. Glimpses of nightmares- powerful and perfect, especially the last line, which made me feel like I was falling.Nice pen!

  9. Erin – Thanks. Appreciate the feedback.

  10. I would HARDLY call that lazy.I love it.Explosive imagery!!

  11. Dawn – Thank you so much! Appreciate you popping over.

  12. Excellent. Great images and a complete story in so few words.

  13. Melancholic. Tight write, bud.

  14. Chris & Col – Kind words from two great writers. Thanks guys!

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