News Flash….

News Flash…..

“Two A-List celebrities have been caught sleeping with their wives.  It is alleged that a high earning Hollywood film star and a high flying English Premiership footballer have both been caught having sex with their wives. The two stars are beside themselves.”

“I just don’t know what has happened,” the unnamed actor said, “I’m devastated and I’m honestly and sincerely sorry to everyone involved who I have hurt. My actions are totally irresponsible.”

“The Premiership footballer is in similar woe. His life is in tatters and his form on the football pitch has suffered due to his fidelity.”

“It was a drunken night during the summer,” he said, “I’ve ruined everything. I’m so sorry to all involved. That’s all I want to say on the matter. Please, give me some privacy to get over this embarrassment.”

“This latest spat of marital sex comes on the back of the English Prime Minister and his wife having another baby. It’s an absolute outrage. The whole on the rich and famous community is shocked and sickened by these activities.”

“I’m disgusted,” said one celebrity, “how these sick perverts can live with themselves is beyond me. Hey, what you doing after you’ve finished here? My wife’s out all afternoon.”

“The Archbishop of Canterbury is disgusted by the whole affair of sex within marriage, saying that it can only be the work of the Devil himself and refused to comment further.  The last comment comes from the Duke of Edinburgh, husband to the Queen of England since 1947.”

“I’m repulsed by these goings on, totally and utterly disgusted,”  he said, “Hey, what you doing when you finish here? The Queen’s out all afternoon.”

“Well there you have it, these atrocities are causing severe unrest within the celebrities fantasy world . I’m Pamela Harris for VT News,”

“Cut.  Great job, Pammy.  Lunch?”

“Not a chance, I’m off to the Palace for some afternoon delight!”

-End-

The above is a work of fiction…well, some of it is and was in a small part inspired by something I heard a while ago.

You know the drill………..

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19 Comments

Filed under celebrities, david barber, david barber's fiction world, footballers, humour

19 responses to “News Flash….

  1. G

    Sad part is that this is somewhat true nowadays. A good read just the same.

  2. Funny. A nice little commentary on the tabloid society we live in.

  3. I love it. Excellent commentary.

  4. wicked loved it great post!

  5. Hehe, yeah I think I've heard a few jokes along those lines as well but nice job turning it into a proper narrative piece. Very funny!

  6. That was great David. I was giggling the whole way through… well.. making that air blowing out your nostrils noise anyhow… :)Good stuff!((Hugs))Laura

  7. Well I for one differ from your previous commenters as your promotion of such unpromiscuity can only lead to further cracks in the bedrock of society. Hmph.

  8. Funny stuff David. Nicely written and brought a smile to my face.Cheers.

  9. hehehhee…. but some seem to match some real news..

  10. Great stuff, David…do you mean to say that the WHOLE English football team is faithful???

  11. I would never get caught sleeping with a wife….. I would make sure the husband is really really out of town first.

  12. David, you properly need to get out more! Brilliant post… made me laugh my head off…!

  13. Now that is my kind of comedy.

  14. Nice one David, it feels like this is the way things are headed! Good laugh and cheers for stopping by my blog,Rick

  15. Thank you very much everyone. Have a great weekend!!

  16. Shock horror, indeed! I love "turn it on its head" writing.

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