I’ve been away from the blog of late, not posting as much as I was. Well, I’ve been stuck in the middle of nowhere working in an old, damp house, tiling a huge floor that could be classed as a munro!
Anyway, I heard these two at the bar the other day and thought you’d like to know what they were talking about. I asked them their names, but they wouldn’t tell me. They said they would let you know when they are ready to let you know and not just because you want to know. Oh well, grumpy old bleeders!
This, in part, is dedicated to a friend of mine.
Hope you enjoy!
Two Blokes, Part 5
“Hey, mate. How’s it going?”
“Yeah, not bad.”
“What you been up to?”
“The usual, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat. Oh, and then a few beers with you, the highlight of my week.”
“Yeah, mine too.”
“Oh, the irony.”
“I’ve done it.”
“My ironing, I’ve done it.”
“I said the IRONY. Don’t worry about it. Hey, remember that story I wrote the other week for that Internet site?”
“Well. It’s closed down. I went back to see if my story got any comments and it’s closed.”
“You mean you broke the cybernet?”
“No. What? How would someone break the Internet? Don’t answer that, I’ve not got time. No, the moderator who ran it has shut up shop. A great bloke by all accounts, from what I read in the comments section. He said he wants to spend more time with his family and concentrate on his own writing. Well, good luck to him, I say. I wish him well and I don’t even know him.”
“What’s up with you?”
“You see, that’s what I don’t like about the cybernet. Robots are everywhere.”
“You said a terminator ran it.”
“I said the moderator. Mod…er…ator.”
“Oh, right. What’s a mod…?”
“Don’t even ask.”
“Okay. Do you want another pint?”
“I’d better not. I’ve got a hospital appointment tomorrow.”
“Oh, yes. What for?”
“I’ve got a bit of a problem with the old ticker. I keep getting palpitations…”
“Palpitations. It’s a feeling that your heart is racing but for no reason. I’ve got a couple of tests to have because it can be caused by a blocked ventricle. Now, if it is that, and this is the scary part, I may have to go in and have my heart stopped and restarted so it gets back on a normal rhythm. Nothing to worry about though, apparently they’ve got a great success rate.”
“What’s up with you now?”
“I need to go.”
“I need to get to the doctors, it’s a bit personal.”
“Oh, come on. You can tell me.”
“Well, you’ve got me worried now.”
“Hey, mate. Come on, it’s only a routine check up. I’ll be alright.”
“No. Not about you.”
“No, no. What it is is that I’ve got a small lump. And I never knew it could affect your heart.”
“You said that you may have a blockage in your testicle and you may have to have your heart stopped and restarted. Well, I don’t want that so I’m off to see the doctor.”
“Oh, you daft cock! I said VENTRICLE. It’s a chamber in your heart. There are four chamb…..forget it. I do need another drink now. Two more beers please, mate.”
You know the drill………………..