FFF #41…..Welcome To Hell.

Friday Flash Fiction time again.  As usual, Cormac Brown puts up with us subjecting him to our ramblings and, as usual, I thank him for his time and effort….and his pure craziness for putting up with us.  Thanks, mate!

This weeks starter sentence was put forward by The Professor, which is in italics.  I was also adamant that I would fit in Doc’s sentence somewhere along the way, so that is also in italics.

I hope you enjoy……(If I’ve gone too far, let me know…)

Welcome To Hell.

He walked in and slid the photograph across my desk.

“Oh…my…God,” I stuttered.

“I thought you’d like it.”

I looked at the photo again, swallowing hard to keep my lunch where it should be.

“You look a bit pale there, boss.”

“Why would you think I’d like that? What happened?” I asked pushing the photo with its horrific content out of my sight.

“I done what you asked. I taught the guy a lesson. He was a fighter though, so…”

“So you fucking killed him?” I said.

“What did you want me to do? He’d have gone blabbing to the filth. I had to…”

“Look, Paul. I pay you well, because you’re good at your job. But I’m not happy when I end up with death on my hands. You’re hired muscle. You go in and get the job done,”

“I got the job done,” Paul butted in.

“Don’t interrupt me, Paul. Don’t ever fucking interrupt me, again.”

“Sorry, boss.”

“As I was saying, you go in and get the job done but you always go too far, and I’m getting a bit sick of it. Now, you come in and show me that photo and expect me to be happy. What the fuck do you think I am?”

“Boss,” Paul mumbled, “I don’t….what…I got the…”

The bullet ripped through his thigh muscle, just above his left knee.

“Arghhh! The fuck you done? Aarrgghhh!”

I got up and walked round the desk to where Paul was writhing on the floor.

“Sneaky, eh? You know, I’ve had that gun under the desk for years and in that time I’ve had to use it four times,”

“Arghhh!” Paul screamed, holding onto his ruined leg, blood covering his hands.

“Don’t ever…..fucking…..interrupt…..me!”

The three punches dazed Paul, his screams reduced to moans.

“Yes, four times I’ve had to use it. And do you know what? The other three, they’re no longer about. Do you know why? Cause they fucked up, just like you have.”


“Too late, boy. I’m going to show you who’s the real deal, now. You come in here with your photo’s, thinking they make me puke. Do you know what’s laughable? I’ve got reflux. Yes, reflux. If I’ve eaten and I see something that’s not quite right, I get the pukes. I used to get it when my kids chucked up or shit themselves when they were babies.” I couched down and looked into his eyes. “But, do you know what, they were family. Family comes first. Hired help, you’re not worth a shit. What, do you think I’ve never been there, dishing it out? Oh, I’ve been there. Big time. They didn’t call me the Torturer for nothing.”

Paul’s swelling eyes opened as wide as they could, his pupils reducing as if shrinking with fear.

“Now you’re going to meet the devil himself.”

I grabbed hold of his knee and forced my finger into the wound.


It’s a little….tricky at first….cause sometimes you have to give it….a bit of finger, but…then you…find it.”

I had the gristly sinew between my finger and thumb.

“You wouldn’t believe how many nerves are connected here. Welcome to Hell, Paul.”



You know the drill.  Whatever you think………let me know.  🙂



Filed under crime, david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday flash fiction, welcome to hell

21 responses to “FFF #41…..Welcome To Hell.

  1. Good 'n' gory…just the way we like 'em!! Nice little visual at the end, too…definitely enjoyed this one, David.BTW: "The other three, they’re no longer about. Do you why?" Can you spot the 'oopsy-daisy'?? LOL!!

  2. Paul – Thanks, mate. Thought I may have over stepped the mark with this one. "oopsy-daisy" fixed. 🙂

  3. You get what you give, right boss? Let's give'em some hell.;-* A story is a story, David. This one is gross, but just as valid. It's great to experiment and walk on the edge. How else would we know where to set our own limits?

  4. Well done,David, for using both the sentences!:-) Yest another good offering, young man!As gory goes, it was quite a mean little tale, but I don't think you overstepped the mark at all – in reality, worse things must happen. I'd be interested to find out what happened to the three previous 'victims, though….!

  5. G

    Having a bad day when you wrote it?Usually I produce stuff similar in tone when the aggravations of the day way heavily on the mind and I need a way to get rid of them.Good story though.

  6. Blimey, the boss doesn't mess about, does he? Great self-contained little story. Really captured the voices of the characters, and the ending was… well, I was going to say 'nice'. Let's just say I liked it.

  7. Doc

    “Pleash…god…no!”Somehow I pictured my sentence being a bit more, you know, sensual. Sinew grabbing wasn't what I had in mind. It's okay though. It seems to fit the story well. You really do torture scenes well and it makes me wonder once again what it was you did before tile became your living. The gritty crime drama comes easily to you and you do it well, and in such a tight little bundle. Congrats David. You kicked in my reflux!Doc

  8. Great tale of horrible revenge, David. The bad guy and the even badder guy. Found myself wincing with imagined pain at the end there – great effect.Your title freaked me a bit – I've been singing Plan B's 'Welcome to Hell' non-stop for the last few days! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiZHLeil4WU

  9. Ooh…my reflux is chugging after this! Very effective imagery, I must say!

  10. Delightfully nasty 🙂 The slurring of the s in "pleash, bosh," captures Paul's change from confident to snivelling very well!Oh, just one little grammar thingy – "photos", plural, shouldn't have an apostrophe 😉

  11. Nice bit Dave. I like the voice on the boss. Must have been some nasty stuff in the picture. But sometimes it's what you don't see that makes the most impact.

  12. Great story, David. A visual nightmare, which is how a dark tale should be. The way you wrote this, you can 'feel' it at the end. Makes this extra specially nasty. No lines crossed here; it's all relevent to the characters and the story. Well done illustration of bad to badder.

  13. That's gotta hurt. You don't mess around Dave. But Hell, he had it coming to him.Nice bit. You and Chad reminded me of FFF this week, so I finally contributed. Nothing gruesome as this.Hope you made time to contribute to the NEEDLE in the Box contest. I'm looking forward to it.

  14. You used to work for MI5, didn't you. 🙂

  15. Gristle. Knee gristle. You work that in a story, you're golden.

  16. ok. small style point…..“Don’t ever…..fucking…..interrupt…..me!”Really tough guys drop the 'g' in fucking…. you know… " don't ever….fuckin'…interrupt me!"and you could add 'asshole' to the end.

  17. Thanks guys. I would comment individually but I'm stuck for time at the mo and a big Scottish wedding at the weekend. Thanks anyway and I'll be following your blogs after the unfortunate shutdown of FFF.Jimm-I had the boss down as a posh dude. With the mention of the kids and stuff, I purposely had him pronounce the words fully and I think it added to the character and gave him a more sinister side. Thanks though.

  18. Fiendishly good … and violent!!!

  19. Dave,You succeeded with the posh image of the boss, and I thought this for the exact reason that you stated. I had an image of "Bricktop" or Lenny Cole from Guy Ritchie's films. Well done, it was subliminal and effective.

  20. Hi Dave.What the F…. do you eat for breakfast,RAW MEAT!!!!!

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