FFF #39 – Two Blokes In A Pub, Part 4…..

It’s Friday Flash Fiction time again.  Cormac Brown, who puts up with our scribbles week in, week out, decided to use an old starter sentence that Randal Graves submitted.  The catch this week was that we couldn’t write in the same genre that we used last week.

I need to apologise in advance, because the starter sentence deserved something a bit better than my 2 dudes talking shite!  I’ve a lot going on at the moment but didn’t want to miss out.  Starter sentence is in italics.

Hope you enjoy it anyway…..

Two Blokes In A Pub, Part 4…

“She knew time was running out, fast, but opening that door was Pandora’s Box all over again.”


“Why what?”

“Well, why was time running out? What was she up to?”

“If you let me carry on I’ll tell you.”

“Okay, okay. Carry on.”

“Oh, I can’t now. I’ve lost my train of thought.”

“Right, I’m going to help you.”

“You’re going to help me. John McThicky is going to help me write a story?”

“Yeah, I am. Start at the beginning. All stories need a beginning.”

“I’ve just read you the beginning.”

“What, that’s all you’ve written?”

“No…well yes…well no. Someone else has written it. It’s a starter sentence to help you come up with a story. You’re supposed to build a story from that first sentence.”

“Who came up with that?”

“I don’t know. I found it on the internet this morning. Because I was feeling creative when I woke up, I thought I’d look for some inspiration and I stumbled upon this web site. I’ve looked back at some of their earlier stuff and there’s some good writer’s on there.”

“Well, you’d better get your skates on if you’ve got to write a story from that. Let’s have a think.”

“How long do you want?”


“Oh, not again! Earth calling McThicky.”


“Look, don’t melt your brain giving it something to think about. I’ll come up with something myself, soon enough. Did you see the footy at weekend? Chelsea have started the season well, twelve goals in two games, eh?”


“You fell asleep?”

“Got it. I’ve fucking got it! This is a great idea. Oh you’re going to love this. Oh…you beauty!”

“Well, what is it? I’ll not be holding my breath though.”

“Well, you said time was running out, right. Well, there’s an experiment going on behind that locked door what you mentioned.”

“Locked door?”

“Yeah, yeah. Well behind that door there’s a huge box. I mean huge, like a big room sized box. And in that box there’s all these like instruments and experiment stuff.”


“Yeah, listen to me.”

“I am.”

“Well, those panda’s that they’ve got in that box, you know the cute looking black and white things that never have a shag? Well they’re doing experiments on them to find out why they never do it and then the animals turn psycho and start eating the doctors and stuff. What do you think to that?”

“I think you’ve really lost your marbles. Who the fuck mentioned a box of panda’s? I said Pandora’s Box. And I’m not going to waste my time explaining what that is, your brain wouldn’t cope.”


“Yeah, exactly! Two more beers please, mate.”


Tell me what you really think, I’ve got thick skin  :-)…………………



Filed under cormac brown, david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday flash fiction, randal graves, two blokes in a pub

18 responses to “FFF #39 – Two Blokes In A Pub, Part 4…..

  1. …….. :-)Panda's ;-pI keep wondering what other stories these two will turn up in – and you never fail to surprise!An excellent start to my day, David – although, I nearly choked on me brekkie!(….are you sure there's nothing autobiographical about these two? One of them definitely sounds like a certain Mr Bury…)

  2. Thanks Sue. Autobiographical? They may well be but I can't remember the conversations. They must be deep inside my sub-conscious…or would that be un-conscious. Drunken conversatios are the best, aren't they?

  3. A great chuckle to start the day. It's really tought to pull off those 'dialogue only' stories. You do it well, and the banter between the two is very realistic.

  4. Thanks, Alan. I do enjoy writing these two, although we have visitors today and we've been busy cleaning the house for the kids to trash again. This one was a rush job this morning, hence the apology. Really chuffed you like it.

  5. Actually, I think the Panda angle may have had some legs. Pyscho Pandas. I bet China would ban it.Good chuckle as always when the two blokes turn up.

  6. G

    Reminds me of few disjointed conversations I've had with co-workers.Now I'm ready for work.

  7. Mike – Thanks a lot, mate. Glad you enjoyed it.G – Disjointed/drunken conversations are just great, aren't they. Thanks, man.

  8. “Well, those panda’s that they’ve got in that box, you know the cute looking black and white things that never have a shag? Well they’re doing experiments on them to find out why they never do it and then the animals turn psycho and start eating the doctors and stuff. What do you think to that?”This is the best line by far in the first eight stories that I've read!

  9. Dude, these two yokels need their own teevee show.

  10. Doc

    Panda box!! Brilliant! I love these guys…

  11. Oops…that was not Doc's comment but mine…

  12. Great take on the prompt – very different and original. Those pandas in a box made me chuckle.

  13. Doc

    “Yeah, exactly! Two more beers please, mate.”Everyone, and I mean everyone, can identify with these two blokes. They either know someone like them or have been them at one time. I think you have really stumbled upon something great here and it would be a damn shame to let it go by. Why not compile all the Two Bloke stories into one book. Each story stands alone but all of them together would make for a wonderful fun read. Think it over. Great tale, as always.Doc

  14. AHAHA, this David is why I come back time and time again! Just when I need a laugh you present me with a roaring good one.Keep it up mate!

  15. David, have to agree with Randall – these two would be just brilliant with a TV show, or even a radio show (or Podcast – hint, hint!)Love the Panda idea, but I still love the dialogue. "John McThickey" reminds me of something Rick Mayall would say in the Young Ones!!

  16. Thanks guys. Years and years of British comedy has warped my mind. I do love these two characters and there's a lot more to come from them.

  17. Great natural banter David. Felt I was sat at the bar, which is a place I like to be! Good how you can switch between characters without action because you're two voices are distinctive, that's a great skill in dialogue. Cheers for popping by the blog again and for your comments. 🙂 Rick

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