Friday Flash Fiction #38….Holy Shit!

It’s Cormac Brown’s Friday Flash Fiction time again.  For this session, Cormac gave us four words that had to be in the story.  There was no order as to how they were used, just that you had to use them all.

Rubble, Toil, Bubble, Coil.

I have to say that I found it a bit tricky to include them and I just hope I’ve pulled it off.  My story goes a little over the 1000 word mark, but hey, who’s counting?

Hope you enjoy…

Holy Shit!

“You’re bubble has burst I’m afraid,” he said, “All the work and toil you put up in, and here you are, in a world of hurt.”

I eyed him with pure hatred, his words repeating in my head as I stared. He was about six feet tall with a shaved head and a scar on his right cheek that ran from the corner of his eye to his top lip. He went by the name of Bender.

“You’ve got away with too much, Spence, and it’s about time someone knocked you off your perch,” his partner, Rover said. He was shorter than Bender, wider in the shoulders but just as ugly.

It’d be easy for them to knock me off my perch at this moment in time.

I was tied to a chair in a lock-up at the rear of hardware store, and from what I’d seen most of the power tools were stored in here. My left hand had already made acquaintance with one of them, a pair of electric tin snips, and had said goodbye to its little finger. The pain had been horrific as the jaws had cut through flesh and bone but as adrenaline had coursed through my veins, the pain had subsided. Fatigue was now kicking in; probably due to the beating I’d had but was now more likely due to blood loss.

Our minds barely remember physical pain, it seems to be able to block it out, but emotional pain is a different story. That shit lingers round forever and the man who came into the room had a lot of emotional pain going on.

“So, Spence, we finally catch up.”

“Yes,” I said, “We finally catch up, although I don’t remember you doing much of the chasing.”

“That’s what I pay my boys to do.”

“Nothing to do with you being a fat fuck, then?” I chuckled.

“You’re a brave man to talk like that in your position, Spence,” Roland Marks said.

“Well, considering I’m tied to this chair, it’s the only position I can be in.”

“You’ve got a smart mouth, and if you don’t want to loose any more of your fingers, I suggest you keep it shut.”

Roland Marks was a man of means. He was rich with money that his father had made from the scrap metal industry, only Roland had taken it further and had gone into supplying drugs to the scrap human industry. His fortunes had grown and so had his girth. His health was in decline as well, and that was the reason I was where I am now.

You see, Roland was pushing sixty and his rich man’s lifestyle had taken its toll on him. Booze, cigars, too much eating at restaurants, they’d all contributed to his health problems. But his main problem had affected his marriage to Elizabeth, his thirty two year old wife. I don’t think I need to explain any more, do I?

“You know, Roland. You should change your name. Your dodgy liver has turned your hair yellow as well as your skin. You look more like Barney Rubble every time I see you.”

There was a snigger from the back of the lock up. Roland turned to see who it was but his thugs had their heads down.

Roland walked over to me and brought his fist down hard on the right side of my face. Fireworks went off in my head and I could feel my lip swelling.

“You watch your fucking mouth!” he shouted, catching his breath.

I managed to laugh and looked up at him. “Hey Roland, is that a really small gun in your pocket…..or is it just your snub nosed, lifeless cock?”

Oh fuck, right on the same spot. This time my lip split.

“You fucking smart mouthed piece of shit! You’re going to be sorry you were born, you c…”

Roland coughed and staggered backwards, clutching at his chest and gasping for breath. His two monkeys ran to him, holding him up. Bender ran to the desk that sat in the corner of the room and grabbed a chair. Rover lowered the gasping man into it and looked over at me, his eyes wide.

I tried to sit up straight, weakly pushing myself against the back of the wooden chair. Rover walked over, reaching into his pocket. His hand emerged, his knuckles now covered in brushed steel.

“You’ve fucked it now, Spence. Say goodbye to the world and hello to planet pain.”

“NO! Rover, now’s not the time,” Roland coughed, “There’s plenty of time for that. I’ve got some talking to do.”

Rover backed off, a look of dejection on his face. I managed a painful smile at him.

Bender aided Roland as he walked over to me, carrying the chair. He placed the chair in front of me and the older man sat down, taking deep breaths. Then Roland spoke.

“Spencer, you were my best man, someone I could rely on. Where did it go wrong? I trusted you with everything, the business, the money side of things, and then you take it upon yourself to, to,” he took a few breaths, “to fuck my wife!”

“Roland….she needed….satisfying” I stammered.

“You went too far, Spence. You over stepped your mark and, I’m not sorry to say, you’re gonna have to pay. Bender, Rover, you know what to do.”

Roland looked at his two men and struggled from his chair, one hand on his chest as he took in deep breaths.

I couldn’t help but laugh, and I laughed hard, hard enough to cough up blood. I spat it onto the floor, most of it landing on Roland’s expensive shoes.

“Laugh it up Spence, laugh it up, cause it’ll probably be the last time you do.” Bender told me.

The two men loomed over me, Rover pushing his knuckle dusters firmly into place. Just as I tensed up for the first blow, the back door flew open.

“Roland, what are you doing? What’s going on?”

Roland turned round from the bench he was standing at, a paint stripper in his hand, its heating coil glowing orange.

“Elizabeth, what are you doing here? I…I told you to never come here.” Roland said between deep breaths.

“This is all wrong,” she said, looking in my direction, “You’ve got it all wrong”

“What….do you….mean, wrong? Wrong, how? Look, honey, I don’t….I don’t blame you. You had your….reasons, but that bastard….should have known better. You don’t….bite the hand that….feeds you.”

“It’s got nothing to do with Spence,” she said stepping into the room.

“No?” Roland growled.

“No, it was me,” another voice said coming out of the shadows and walking in behind Elizabeth.

“Son? My own son….betrayed….me?”

Holy shit! She’s been banging his son as well. Who’s fucking kid is she carrying then?

To be continued…..


By the way, go and check out Cormac’s latest post.  He’s got a link to a great site and some excellent old “pulp magazine” covers.

You know the drill………..



Filed under crime, david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday flash fiction, holy shit

33 responses to “Friday Flash Fiction #38….Holy Shit!

  1. "scrap human industry." This is brilliant. Sets the tone perfectly. Well done.

  2. Thanks, Leah. I always seem to rush my writing at the moment, but I'm getting away with it….I think.

  3. Nice story David; I laughed out loud and absolutely loved the way you smuggled “Rubble” into it. Really well done sir!

  4. "Scrap human industry" Yeah, I liked that one as well and business is booming. Excellent story David, the chick hitting the son as well was a nice touch.

  5. As usual, Mr Barber, a very fine piece – but you can't end it there…..!!!!(I know the word count restricts you, but I wish you'd tell what happens next – would be a goody for TK&C!!)

  6. What!? You can't stop there. Please carry on with this. For my sanity.Great story, and great job of working those words in.

  7. Very vivid! I'm thinking Spence might be off the hook…

  8. Okay! Okay! If you check back over a lot of my stories, I usually leave an "open end". Don't know why, it's just the way they spill out of me. Some of them are still WIP's, so for your sanity, Laurita, and everyone else, I will post a sequel asap.Thanks for all your kind words, though. They're much appreciated.

  9. Doc

    Good Lord! Mafia soap operas, what will you think of next? Great tale, as always. You are very comfortable in this sort of fiction and the characters and language never seem forced or contrived. The characters are always flinty and tough but they still ring true, which I know is a fine line to walk. Looking forward to the next installment!Cheers,Doc

  10. Lots of sharp description in your story. And we are simpatico today with bound poor bastards in our pics.

  11. Doc – Thanks a lot mate. Your comments mean a lot and I will post the next installment as soon as.David – Thanks, man. Glad you liked it and I'm just off to read your story. 😉

  12. David, as always, you bring a dark, twisted character to life. I actually quite like Roland and Spence…I think a "prologue" for this piece would be quite interesting. There is so much you could do with these characters. Would love to see you try.Thanks, David, for a great kick-start to the day!

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Deka – Thanks, man!Paul – I'm working on it as we speak, so to say. It could end up quite long, so wouldn't really know what to do with it. We'll see what happens…Thanks for comments though and I'm happy to give you a kick start to your day. Have a great day, mate!(Too many typos in above comment. Brain and fingers not working well together!!)

  15. …. re. above comment:So, how many drinks have you had, then David? ;-p

  16. Sue – Unfortunately not enough. Big job starting tomorrow. Although it won't keep me away from my writing as much as my last few jobs. Finally dusted off my "novel" and started on that again. Going to try for at least 1-2000 words a day. We'll see if I can juggle work, short stories, flash and novel at the same time as well as being a husband and a father. Holy Shit, indeed! 🙂

  17. …..are you out to prove that men CAN multi-task, then? 😮

  18. Pulp fiction to be proud of mate.

  19. Sue – Multi task? I've got to do the cooking on top of all that. :-)Lewis – Thanks, mate. Was hoping to see something from you this week.

  20. Nicely done. And you will be fine as a multi-tasker. I've no doubt. It looks like you already have some plans in place to manage the load. Good luck!

  21. Breathless pace … check … dark and gritty … check … immensely readable … must be a David Barber story!There's a small bit at the beginning, when you're getting going that some of the sentences get a bit tough to chew, and might be smoothed a little in cross examination, but the story itself more than carries the day. Nicely turned.

  22. I laughed out loud at how you worked the word "rubble" into your story. And how you brought "coil" in was good too.

  23. I don't believe it! I have just gone back to read other people's comments and someone else's is almost exactly the same as mine. Well, it must be true.

  24. Yes, I dunno how I would've managed to work those words in… Well done, David…

  25. J.c. – Glad you liked it and thanks for the confidence boost. :-)Chris – Thanks mate. I know exactly where you mean. I'm giving it a complete overhaul as it's going to be a much longer story.Gaby – Thank you.Anthony – As usual, thanks man. Glad you enjoyed it.

  26. 1~ Loved the title2~ Love it whenever anyone can squeeze "Fat Fuck" into a sentence. It might be my favourite dis. :)3~ I laughed out loud a few times during my read..All in all it was a great story. I loved it. Add me to the list of those that are looking forward to the sequel. 🙂 (whenever you have time to do it.)((Hugs))Laura

  27. These people are not very nice. Why can't you ever write story about hopscotch and flowers? 😉

  28. Laura – Thanks. I'm working on a prequel and a sequel. I'm surprised nobody mention the thugs names. Bender-Rover??Randal – Funnily enough I working on a story called The Hopscotch Killer! He plays hopscotch with old people and when they can't hop anymore he slits…..that's as much as I'm gonna say. Although he does leave them flowers! 😉

  29. Now that WAS excellent!Working 7 days a week 8 hours a day and lovin it! – but no time to blog or visit. Should settle down a bit before the years out and I'll be back to normal…er…I'll rephrase that…back to me.Agent wants lots of editing and stuff not to mention the rest of it!!! and I ain't the time. Maybe in the New Year. He reckons it'll sell. Course it will! I'll buy one…;-)

  30. OMG- David. It's like Days Of Our Lives meet Shady Frank. I can't believe you were able to squeeze those words into this kind of story. Lovin' it. Hey, Barney stubble- is that referring to the purple dinosaur? ;-)Good to swing by here and read you. It's been awhile.

  31. FD & Jodi – Thanks for stopping by and for your very kind words. Much appreciated.

  32. I so didn't see the end coming! Holy Shit is right! This was freaking hilarious and I found myself laughing in all the wrong places.Great work David!Sorry I took a while to get over here.

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