Friday Flash Fiction #34…Two Blakes At The Bar, Again.

It’s Friday Flash Fiction time again folks.  Cormac Brown decided to contribute his own choice of words for us this week. 

They were, Sculpture, Culture, Cult and Cohesive, and yes, I even got inspiration from the photo on his post.

All words had to be used but in no particular order.

I liked his choice of words, and I thought my two blokes at the pub would love them.

My entry for this week follows.  The word choices are in blue.

There’s These Two Blokes In A Pub…Again.

“They’ve broke its fucking arms off.”

“You dozy bastard, that’s what makes this sculpture so damn unique and valuable.”

“What, that fact that it’s got no arms makes it worth more? That makes no sense.”

“Look, the thing was made a couple of thousand years ago, like years before Christ was born. Things that old are worth a lot of money, and, things that old will obviously break or crack at some point on their journey through life. Look at old Frank over there.”

“Where?”

“Over there, by the fire. He’s only eighty four, and he’s lost both his legs. Fuck knows where. Nobody ever found ‘em.”

“Poor, old bastard.”

“You really are a gullible twat. Anyway, the Venus de Milo.”

“Easy, that’s a plant that eats flies. I’ve seen that on that show on TV with that bloke, Richard Attenborough.”

“God help me. David Attenborough, you mean. Anyway, the Venus de Milo, the sculpture you’re looking at and not the fly eating plant, supposedly depicts Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty, if I’m not mistaken.”

“It’s not exactly beautiful is it? I mean, would you do a bird looking like that? No arms and a blokes face, not me. No fucking way. She’s got nice tits though.”

“There’s really no culture with you is there? You’re uneducated and ignorant of everything in the world. God knows how you’ve made it this far in life.”

“I’m not ignorant. I always speak to people and say hello and thanks and stuff.”

“I didn’t mean it that way….see, that’s what I mean about you.”

“What?”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. You know, you should form you own cult.”

“What did you call me?”

“Fucking hell. Are you going deaf as well as stupid? I said cult, you should start your own cult. You could call it The Thick Bastard’s Club. If no one joined then you could just do a single suicide. You’d be famous.”

“Famous? Honestly, or are you just winding me up?”

“Oh, fuck me with a rusty ship. They must have dropped you on your head in the monkey sanctuary when you were born.”

“Hmm, famous. Anyway, you were telling me about the famous de Milo.”

“VENUS! Venus de Milo. Oh, there’s nothing to tell you now, apart from the fact that the sculpture now stands in the Louvre in Paris.”

“Right, I’ve got you there. Oh yes, who’s the thick one now? If it’s so fucking valuable, then why is it standing in some toilet in the middle of Paris?”

“Not a ‘loo’, you stupid cock. The Louvre. The world famous museum. There’s nothing cohesive in that brain of yours is there? Nothing sticks in there does it?”

“…”

“Are you still in, cos the light still seems to be on.”

“…”

“Oh no, it’s dimming now. Yep, it’s on its way out.”

“No, no. I was just thinking.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. Maybe that’s where her arms went. They were snapped off when she was left in the toilets.”

“You really do wear me out, you know. Two more beers please, mate.”

The End.

Thanks To Cormac for continually subjecting himself to our stuff.  Cheers mate!

Hope you enjoyed it.  If you would like to read their previous conversation, click here.  You may enjoy it.  🙂

You know the drill, please leave a comment whether you liked it or not……