FFF #29…There’s These Two Blokes In A Pub…

After a short break, Cormac Brown gave us the starter sentence in this weeks challenge for Friday Flash Fiction.

After a week of self inflicted injuries at work which needed hospital treatment and then a sickness and shits bug that ripped through the whole family, I found myself with a backlog of work and writing.  So, here’s my entry for this week.  It’s short, but I hope relatively sweet.

It may do your head in, but hey, it’s fiction and its supposed to.

Starter sentence is in blue.

Hope you enjoy…

There’s These Two Blokes In A Pub.

“I said that you don’t have to believe me, and I certainly wouldn’t…if I were in your shoes.”

“What kind of silly talk is that?”

“It’s not silly talk, you cock.”

“Yes it is. You said that I don’t have to believe you and that you wouldn’t if you were in my shoes.”

“Yes, so?”

“It’s gibberish.”

“No it’s not.”

“It is, it doesn’t make fucking sense.”

“It fucking does.”

“Right. You’re going to tell me something but then I shouldn’t believe you because you wouldn’t. Yeah?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“…”

“Look. It’s simple. I’ve got something to tell you, okay. You don’t really have to believe me, but it’s true, yeah? If you do believe me and you do something about it, it could end up being bad for you, or you could end up hurt, if not worse. That’s why I wouldn’t believe it if I were in your shoes. Do you understand me now?”

“…”

“Fuck me! You really are the dumbest shit I know.”

“No, no. I was just thinking and I get it now. Yeah, yeah, I’ve got it now. Fuck! Like, a total thicko alert! So, what’s the big secret then?”

“I’m not fucking telling you now, you’ve wore me out! Two more pints please, mate.”

End.

Hope you liked it.  Please leave a comment if you did, on the other hand if you didn’t, don’t… 🙂

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19 Comments

Filed under david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday flash fiction, there's these two blokes at a bar

19 responses to “FFF #29…There’s These Two Blokes In A Pub…

  1. ;-)Very good. How many pints into the evening was this conversation ..? ;-pNeverthless, a clever play on 'unpacking' the meaning of the introductory sentence.BTW – hope you are all on the mend now!

  2. David, I enjoyed your flash and especially the last sentence. Hey, where did that interesting drawing/pic come from at the top of your post.

  3. G

    An interesting non-conversation. Reminds me of the conversations I've had with my kids when they were younger.

  4. Sue – Thanks. I was writing a longer one but as usual another idea lodges itself in there.David – Thanks mate. I found the image on Google images. I found a few that went with the write but that one struck me. I think its the confused look on the main guys face. :-)G – Appreciate your comment. Sometimes conersations like the one above are some of the best ones. Thanks.

  5. Sickness and shits?? Since Canadians don't do anything foul like that, I have absolutely no idea of what you're talking about. :P(actually, my oldest son calls it the "poopin,puking") ;pOkay so .. I'm tired and that story DID do my head in. :pI would have told the guy to fuck off about 2 sentences into our conversation had it been me. It was good! 🙂 It forced my brain to do some extra thinking which, it hates to do but, still, it's good for it, right??!!! Hope that you are all feeling much better. Not, ahem, pooped out. :P((Hugs))Laura

  6. He, he, he…had flashbacks to Monty Python there for a momoent. Hope you and yours are past the shites. Try to keep the hospital visits to a minimum.

  7. Nice mate, agree with Sue on an excellent way to unpack the first sentence 🙂

  8. Loved it. Totally legit conversation.

  9. David, I think I have had conversations with friends many times, usually ending the way sunshine said she would have.Hope you and the fam are feeling better. All the best!

  10. Laura – Hope you are feeling better. Thanks. :-)Alan – "Monty" were the "dons". Cheers mate.Paul G – Appreciate your comment pal. Thanks.Leah – Thanks. I've had these conversations on far too many occasions, only I usually forget what the conversation usually started out as. :-)Paul P – Thanks my friend. Hope you are back soon! 😉

  11. David … enjoyed everything about this thoroughly… and yeah, what a great pic!!

  12. Anthony – Thanks mate. I did have plans for something longer but this just took its place.

  13. Loved this, Dave. Sounds like me n the missus after a few in the local. Such a simple idea, perfectly delivered.

  14. Funny! I enjoyed reading this.

  15. Was this the vulgarized, British version of Grumpy Old Men? ;-)Did you accidentally chop off your hand? Now how will you type!

  16. I think I sat across from the guys the other day — you consistently put out some nice work.

  17. Wow, another story that is very heavy in dialogue. I am very impressed. Sue has a similar dialogue rich story. To me, dialogue is so difficult to write in comparison to descriptions, that the idea of a story being mostly dialogue is a bit frightening for me to contemplate writing. But you did an excellent job!PipeTobaccohttp://frumpyprofessor.blogspot.com

  18. Col, Flannery – Thanks a lot guys.Randal – Cheers dude. I sliced open my left index finger and thumb with a nice shiny new blade in my stanley knife. I can type now. See. ;-)Pipe – Thanks mate. Just give the dialogue thing a go. If it doesn't work for you, so what. You write great stories anyway!

  19. Chad – Thanks mate. That's a nice compliment.

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