A Saturday Funny…

I received this in an email this morning, and with all that is going on in the UK at the moment (and possibly in countries around the world) I thought it was very relevent when deciding who you are voting for.

It gave me a giggle when I read it and I hope it does the same to you…

* * * * *

Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’

The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’

The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’

The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like Construction Workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts – the mouth and the arsehole – and they are interchangeable’

* * * * *

Careful who you vote for and remember to check which orifice they’ve been talking out of before putting that X in the box.  πŸ™‚

Have a great weekend!

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17 Comments

Filed under david barber, david barber's fiction world, saturday funny

17 responses to “A Saturday Funny…

  1. Ha! Yup, seen this before but still a hoot.(Librarians are really in Dewey Decimal order, actually ;-p) )Just received my postal voting papers – so this is highly pertinent. Maybe I'll just stick the ballot paper up and fling darts at it and see which candidate gets the 'hit'. Probably as good a chance as any of making the right decision, given they all seem to be as bad as each other. 😦

  2. I agree. I don't really do politics myself so I'm in the same boat. I actually like the response from the consruction worker's surgeon. πŸ™‚

  3. Don't you just love election time!! I think they should be contestants on "The Biggest Loser"…for pollies!! Actually, no, scrap that…the show would go for years!!!Nice joke, David. Thanks for the laugh!

  4. Paul – Where've you been for the past week or so? Thanks for looking mate.

  5. HA! I mean, gasp! How dare you insult our public servants!I'm guessing that you are now the biggest Stoke City fan in the UK. ;-)Sue H, maybe over there, but us enlightened colonials use the superior AMERICAN Library of Congress system. USA! USA! USA!

  6. Randal – Come on Stoke!!! Thanks man.

  7. Randal – 'enlightened' and 'colonials' erm….do those words actually belong together in a sentence? (Just joshin' ;-p) – actually the public library service in the UK is fast disappearing up its own backside (not just my home county!)Any jobs going over there, Randal?(Sorry, David – kinda hijacked your thread πŸ˜‰ )

  8. Yeah, no worries Sue. Just don't do it again or I'll charge you. πŸ˜‰

  9. What makes you think I have money, David? ;-p(BTW – M has just walked in with a face like a fiddle – his team just lost 3-1 😦 )

  10. Ha! Funny! But "Politicians are the easiest to operate on"…… if you had said 'Republicans' instead of Politicians…. I think it would have been even funnierest!

  11. This one is from The Missus, go figure-Subject: FBI JobThe FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists; two men and a woman.For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun."We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair…kill her!"The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes.The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow."This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

  12. Hope you end up with better representation than we did in the "Commonwealth". 40% returns on just 20% of the population voting means you get to lead.Bah.

  13. Thanks for passing that joke on. Who knows? Maybe Canada will be joining in on the election festivities. I really liked your sentence summing up at the end!

  14. Thanks, David… So very very true (the punchline)…

  15. Cormac, I loved that joke. Will keep that for future reference!!

  16. Dave, Pissed me sides – my vote's safe… in me pocket – they're all crap!

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