I dare you not to laugh….
Just a couple of funnies for you to cheer you up. If you’re already ‘cheery’ then, go on, you can still read them.
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car – both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to a
junction. The traffic light was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, ‘I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.’
After a few more minutes, they came to another junction and again the traffic light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she imagining it.
She was getting nervous.
At the next junction, sure enough, the traffic light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, ‘Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!’
Mildred turned to her and said, ‘Oh, crap, am I driving ?’
* * * * *
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest replies, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”
The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be damned, ” Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
* * * * *
I don’t take the credit for these, they were sent to me via text and email, therefore already in circulation so don’t bust my guts over copyright etc, etc. I hope you liked them and they put a smile on your face. Have a great weekend, whatever you are doing.
You know the drill, leave a comment if you want, if not……..