Friday Flash Fiction #22…


It’s Cormac Brown’s Friday Flash Fiction time again, after a short layoff, and he chose this weeks routine.  Instead of a starter sentence he gave four words that had to be included in the story but in no particular order.  Those words were: Manic, Panic, Organic and Non-Corrosive.

I started one story and didn’t like it at all and for whatever reason, this one came to mind.  Sorry if you’re offended but it is Fiction.

Hope you enjoy…

The Alien Cometh.

Panic was setting in. He’d been tied to the bed for way too long now and the worst thing about it was that he was tied face down and the door into the room was behind him. It was a four-poster and his hands and feet were tied to each post. And, he was butt naked.

“Who’s that?”

There was no response.

“WHO’S THAT?”

Laughter. Manic laughter.

He struggled against the ropes, trying to twist himself this way and that to see behind him.

He heard footsteps, more than one set. And then talking, but not a language he had ever heard. It was gibberish, with clicks and high-pitched squeaks, almost alien.

“What’s going on back there? Untie me now.”

More laughter, followed by more gibberish.

The beads of sweat that covered his nakedness shimmered in the unnatural bright light of the room. He sensed movement at the end of the bed and then a shifting of weight as someone or something climbed on. Rough hands touched his ankles and made their way slowly up his calf muscles, massaging them.

“Get your hands off me.”

The hands caressed the backs of his thighs, long fingers stroking up the insides of his legs. He tensed, trying with all his strength to break free of the ropes so he could stop the wandering hands.

“Get the fuck off me.”

There was no response. The hands kept making their way up the insides of his thighs. But then he felt it. His eyes opened wide at the thought. A gust of air followed by a snort and then air again. The hands stroked his balls and a finger ran up his butt crack.
“What the fuck?”

The hands were then on his back, rubbing in the beads of sweat as they made their way towards his neck. The gust of air again, only this time on the back of his neck and then near his ear. The stench was horrific. It was bad breath at its worst.

“I hope that breath of yours is non-corrosive. My eyes are fucking melting. GET OFF ME.”

And that was when he felt it. It was hard and pushing at him. He tried to tense himself but the pressure was too much.

“NO.”

“Okaaay, cut.”

The camera’s stopped rolling and the bright lighting was turned down.

“Great scene, Randy. Fucking mind blowing, man. Ok, people. Five minutes and I want Randy’s ass double in here. We want some fucking great, deep penetration shots from this next scene. Come on people, move your fucking asses.”

“Randy got off the bed and walked over to the director, his twelve inch penis swinging between his legs.

“Great work Randy.”

“I hope your breath is non-corrosive? Who the fuck wrote that? We need better script writers Ron, if we’re going to make it big time.”

“Randy, your cock is going to make us big time.”

“Yo, Randy.”

Randy B’Stard turned round at the voice. The alien who was on the bed with him stood in the middle of the room, legs bent, shaking the huge fake penis in his hand.

“Yeah, fuck you Michael.” Randy shouted.

“Randy, don’t worry man. It’s totally organic,” he shouted back, pulling it off and biting into it.

The End.

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think…

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15 Comments

Filed under david barber, david barber's fiction world, friday flash fiction, the alien cometh

15 responses to “Friday Flash Fiction #22…

  1. Fetish Porn or maybe Alien Porn. Regardless, always a hit in the Heartland. You definitely stepped outside your usual writing haunts for this one. Made me chuckle.

  2. Totally freaky David, it was a great story that had me convinced it was an alien abduction with inter-species kinky sex. Which alone was enough to freak me out given some of the "true" alien stories you can hear on very late night talk radio. You think crazy people call daytime political-talk radio you should hear some of the callers over here calling a talk radio show that deals with UFOs and supernatural stuff. Throw in the porn angle and believe it or not I was slightly relieved.

  3. I LOVED it!But, you know I'm a dirty perv so.. :PThat was hilarious. Really, really great. And ummm.. if you would like to finish this story up for us.. I'd appreciate it. 😛 ((Hugs))Laura

  4. For some strange reason I found myself squeezing my butt together…;-)Anything that makes me laugh is always top dollar!

  5. What was the fake penis made of? I must know.

  6. Rectal probing ain't so funny now, skeptics, is it!

  7. Holy crack, that was hilarious. It reminded me of Silent Bob's fluffing routine and the time I was in college and we went to this costume party where some girl had blue mechanic's overalls and a large sausage she had chewed into the shape of a penis sticking out the zipper. It was highly disturbing. Kind of like your story here — nicely done!

  8. Mike, Beach, Laura, 4D, Uber & Chad. Glad you liked it. The one I was writing wasn't going the way I wanted it to so this one took its place. Thanks a lot guys.

  9. David, found this piece hilarious. Not sure about the organic penis…will give that a miss, I think.BTW: Is Randy related to Alan B'Stard?

  10. Paul, you Aussies know too much about our humour. The penis was a huge salami. (They were on a tight budget) Alan was his dad. 🙂

  11. David, I wouldn't put all Aussies together in that. I grew up with English comedy and have been a fan ever since. Rik Mayall is a genius.Is that a salami in your pocket….?? I think I will still pass…budget or no budget!!

  12. I don't think you will get better "English" humour than the Young Ones. That program was the subjct of the day at school when it was on the night before.Others: Not The Nine O'Clock News, The Goodies, Blackadder, New Statesman….more recent, Mock The Week, QI (Stephen Fry). There are so many. If you haven't already seen Mock The Week, it's a must for taking the piss out of politics, politicians etc, etc.

  13. David, agree completely with your list. I would also add Porridge, Open All Hours, Father Ted, Bottom, Fry & Laurie, Vicar Of Dibley and Ab Fab. There was a great generation of comedians around then: Rik Mayall, Ade Edmondson, Rowan Atkinson, Fry & Laurie, French & Saunders, and so many others. There is a discussion going on over at 6 Sentences about favourite comedians…and I listed the ones mentioned above there as well. Just can't beat 'em!

  14. Doc

    I have got to admit I was a little creeped out reading this as I don't often stumble across alien rape scene stories, but after reading about Rohrbacher's girl chewing the sausage into the shape of a penis, I felt much better. I don't think I have ever been more pleased to read the words, "Okaaay, cut."Great stuff man, I'm still chuckling.Doc

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