"The Screw The Resolutions And Get Your Ass In Gear For 2010 Flash Fiction Open"

Last week Bryon Quertermous said-

Alexandra Sokoloff had a nice post the other day about how hard it is to get back into the rhythm of writing after the crazy holiday season. This is something I struggle with and could relate to. So, in an attempt to jump start the year proper-like, I’m setting myself a challenge and extending it to the rest of you.

One story. Flash fiction (under 1k). Subject matter is open. You’ve got a week. Post a link in the comment section to where your story will appear next Monday and I’ll spread the word.

Go on. Get to it.

Now, I have been quite busy this past weekend. I’ve had a piece entered into The Clarity Of Night contest and my usual piece for Friday Flash Fiction was posted before this one, so this was a bit of a rush job. BUT, I must confess that it was partially done in the form of a poem that was shit! (It was my other idea for the Clarity contest, if you must know). I do like to read poetry but I struggle writing it, so I embelished on the idea and came up with what follows. You may think that this too is shit, so please let me know at the end, bearing in mind that this is a whole new angle for me, hence the picture.

FEEDER.

A black silhouette circles above the deserted streets, invisible against a dark, winter’s sky.

***

My eyes dart from left to right, looking and listening for anything; a movement, laughter, a cry. It’s the same thing night after night. I must feed. My strength is waning, the treacherous weather conditions keeping the streets deserted. Livestock doesn’t do the same to my bloodlust as humans do.

Then suddenly, a faint pattering of rushing footsteps echoes in my sensitive ears. I tilt my head in the direction of the noise, following it through the night air. There, on her own, scurrying down the path and trying to keep to the shadows is a woman of incredible beauty.

The woman has long, dark, hair that bounces gently with each step. Her skin is pale, yet when the light from the street lamp catches her it glows, accentuating her features. I swoop down, getting closer, but still out of sight. The woman is a vision, but there is something wrong. Her eyes are wet and her make up smudged.

Then, more noise, more footsteps running down the street. I catch sight of the owner. A man is chasing her. An aura of menace surrounds him and he is moving fast, his feet steady as they land on the icy pavement. The woman quickens her step but is no match for his speed and he soon catches up, roughly grabbing her and pushing her into a darkened doorway.

“Get your hands off me. Get….off….me.”

A scream followed by silence. The man raises his hand and is about to strike again but I cannot allow that to happen. I swoop down with dazzling speed, grabbing his right hand with my left. He turns to look at me, letting the woman fall to the floor. As he does so, I lunge at his throat, my teeth sinking into the flesh. I suck furiously, drinking down his crimson fluid. The man tries to fight back but my strength is rekindled, victorious over his. I bite down harder, his windpipe restricted against my powerful jaws. Blood is running freely now, staining into his shirt and jacket. I am in a frenzy, my eyes rolling as I try to drink the man dry.

The woman begins to stir on the floor. She cannot see this. Still feeding, I drag the weakening man away from the doorway and in an instant take off into the night. I fly towards the edge of the village. The man is now dead in my arms, his veins almost depleted of blood. In the near distance I can see the dense woodland. Slowing, as I near the trees, I spot an opening within the branches and come to rest on the forest floor. In an instant, I tear the man’s throat out with my teeth, spitting his ravaged trachea onto the rotting leaves. Tonight the woodland creatures will have a feast.

I return to the street, coming to a stop on the slate roof of the building across from the darkened doorway. The woman is now on her feet, dusting herself down and trying to straighten her soiled clothing. There is a cut on her cheek, a small trickle of blood running down her face, mingling with her tears. I reach out to her, wanting to touch her face, wanting to taste her blood, but her beauty will not allow me.

I will need to feed again, though.

The End.

The usual applies. Thanks for looking…..
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14 Comments

Filed under david barber, david barber's fiction world, fiction, flash, horror, vampire

14 responses to “"The Screw The Resolutions And Get Your Ass In Gear For 2010 Flash Fiction Open"

  1. I'm a sucker for a Vampire tale. (pardon the pun!)I liked this a lot! I felt that the ending needed just a smidge more to satisfy me. Like maybe he could have swooped down and introduced himself or something… ;PI need some kind of hope for a future relationship. Not one where he eats her… Well, he could eat her but not literally. I mean in the Biblical sense. :DAhem.. but yes. I really enjoyed the story. Good stuff as usual! ((Hugs))Lara

  2. Sunshine, Thanks as usual for your comments. I left the ending like that so that I could maybe go back to it and write a part 2 or even 3. Will they fall in love, will he kill her, that type of thing. Thanks though. 🙂

  3. I see you used the bird image for both. I like this one the best of the two. Your imagery was excellent. Spitting out the trachea – cool. I also liked the first person angle. I need to experiement with it.

  4. Very, very nice. I like a tale that causes salivation of the incisors. Interestingly, I first read 'Then, more noise, more footsteps running down the street. I catch sight of the owner. A man is chasing her.' as though the man was the owner of the woman, not the footsteps. Or maybe I was right?Good luck with it in the comp.

  5. I like this story, despite the fact that the publishers and studios are vampiring us out here in The States.

  6. Mike, Thanks pal. I couldn't break this down to 250 words and as I said, the original 'poem' wasn't much good. Thanks for your opinion though.Lily, I always try to leave something for the reader to decide. It's not really a comp as such, just a challenge set down to get the seasonal cobwebs (and booze) out of your head. Thanks for stopping by.Cormac, I enjoyed re-working it from the poem it was hatched as. My first vampire story. Glad you liked it and, yes, I have noticed all the vamp stuff spilling out of The States. Not too bad a thing though, they are better films than Saw whatever number they are on and Hostel and Wrong Turn and blah, blah, blah. Thanks buddy.

  7. Ooops! Sorry. I didn't realize that you were going to revisit this again. I did enjoy the story and look forward to finding out how things progress…..((Hugs))Laura

  8. Now this vampire story I-excuse the pun-can bite into. I'm a fan of the movie vampire killer "Blade". So given the current loving climate of vampires here in the States I'm sort of out in the cold.But this vampire I liked, he seems to have a moral compass and compassion for what he usually hunts.

  9. Sunshine, you don't have to apologise…so don't! :-)Beach, cheers bud. My first attempt at the old 'blood-suckers' and I enjoyed playing around with it. There willbe a follow-up.

  10. Most of the vampire tales here in the colonies are crap, so keep on writing some. Spit-out trachea earns bonus points!

  11. I agree with Randal. Please don't tell anyone.

  12. Randal, cheers bud. Part 2 is in production.Uber, I WON'T TELL ANYONE YOU AGREE WITH RANDAL!! HONEST!

  13. David, I certainly think this deserves another instalment. Hope you get to it.Loved this, best of luck in the contest!!!

  14. Yep, it bites very well. Another one you should expand on.

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